Source: Google images
I have to begin this post by sending my apologies for not posting last week. A combination of busy days (where I did too much) and “bad” days meant I wasn’t able to get the post I planned up. Fear not though, the planned post will be available for your eager eyes later this week.
As P mentioned in the last post (click here to read) he wrote on here, I have some news to share with you. Regular readers will know that my health issues have a big impact on my studies, which has been a big struggle for me during my time at university. This has meant that I’ve constantly grappled with the decision about whether to stay on my course or not. Unfortunately, a few weeks ago I decided that I needed to leave university. I would have preferred to have taken a gap year instead, but it would have been very difficult to claim benefits, as I would have still been classed as a student. Since I don’t have any other means of income, and P’s loan doesn’t even cover his own costs, I will now be reliant on benefits to pay the bills.
The decision to leave university was a tough one. I love my course and being at university. It’s not that I think I need a need to get a degree, but that I have wanted to go to university ever since I can remember. Some people want to climb mountains, others want to sky dive, but as geeky as it makes me sound, I’ve always wanted to get a degree. I just love studying. It wasn’t exactly perfect timing that as I left the my final meeting with my personal tutor, I passed a bunch of students in graduation gowns. It felt like a film, all that was missing was slow motion and sad music.
Don’t go worrying about me though, I’ve had many pep talks in the last week or so. I’m not wallowing in self-pity or collapsed in a pit of depression, I have perspective on the whole situation. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t painful though. Going through my notes and books reminded me of all the times I have pushed through pain and exhaustion to get a lecture or an exam. It’s not like the past four years have been easy, which made the decision to give up all the more difficult.
As you’ve no doubt guessed, there was a part of me that felt relieved too. Finally, I can stop pretending that I am managing my studies. At last I can just focus on getting better.
I’m hoping that I will be able to post a little more regularly on here now. I won’t make any promises though, as I’m trying not to pile too many expectations on myself; I am supposed to be focused on getting better after all. I post more regularly on my other social media sites, as they’re more manageable for me- you can find links in the side bar or below.
Love Katie x
P.s. My inbox has been bringing a smile to my face recently because a couple of you have e-mailed me and left me comments. I love hearing from you and chatting to you. Just a little warning though, I can be slow at replying. You can always contact me on any of my social media websites just to chat, ask a question, or talk about one of my posts. You can also contact me via e-mail, the address is chronicallykatieblog@gmail.com .
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